5 Things I Wish I Knew Before My NICU Journey

thepreemiegenie
Mar 9
3 min read

Nothing prepares you for the NICU. Whether your baby arrives too soon or faces unexpected medical challenges, the experience can be terrifying, overwhelming, and emotionally exhausting. I know because I’ve been there.

When my son was in the NICU, I was thrown into a world of beeping monitors, medical jargon, and uncertainty. Looking back, there are so many things I wish I had known, things that could have helped me feel more prepared, empowered, and less alone.

If you're starting your NICU journey, here are five things I wish someone had told me before stepping into the neonatal intensive care unit.

1. The NICU Is Overwhelming—But the Medical Team Is There to Help

Walking into the NICU for the first time can feel like entering a different universe. Tiny incubators, glowing monitors, constant alarms—it’s a lot to take in. But you are not alone.

NICU doctors and nurses are heroes without capes. They are highly trained professionals whose mission is to care for your baby. Many of them also understand that caring for you is just as important.

💡 What helped me:

Asking as many questions as I needed—no matter how small.
Taking notes to keep track of medical updates.
Letting myself lean on the nurses and doctors for guidance and support.

Your baby is in expert hands, and so are you. Let them help you.

2. You Are Your Baby’s Best Advocate—Trust Your Instincts

No one knows your baby better than you. Even if they arrived early, you’ve been connected since conception.

Doctors and nurses bring medical expertise, but you bring something just as important—your instincts. If something feels off, speak up. If you need clarification, ask. If you feel unheard, push them to listen.

💡 Trust your gut when:

You notice a change in your baby’s behavior.
A medical decision doesn’t sit right with you.
You feel like something is being overlooked.

Advocating for your baby can be intimidating, but your voice matters. You are their protector; no one is more invested in their well-being than you.

3. Bonding in the NICU Starts Before You Can Hold Your Baby

Many NICU parents can't hold their babies right away—it might take days or even weeks. And that’s heartbreaking. But bonding doesn’t start with touch—it begins at conception and builds with your presence.

💡 Ways to bond in the NICU:

Talk to your baby—they recognize your voice!
Read or sing to them.
Gently place your hand on their isolette.

Once your baby is stable, skin-to-skin (kangaroo care) will be a powerful milestone. It helps regulate their breathing, heart rate, and temperature while strengthening your emotional connection.

Your love is the most potent medicine they will ever receive.

4. Asking for Help Is a Sign of Strength, Not Weakness

NICU life is draining—physically, emotionally, and mentally. You do not have to go through this alone.

💡 Where to find support:

NICU parent support groups (many hospitals offer them).
Friends and family—ask for help with meals, childcare, or errands.
Hospital social workers—they can guide you to financial and emotional resources.

👉 Important: NICU moms have double the risk of postpartum depression, and up to 50% develop PTSD. This is not your fault. If you’re struggling, seek help early. Therapy, support groups, or talking to another NICU mom can make a huge difference.

You are carrying so much—emotionally and physically. Let others carry you, too.

5. NICU Graduates Are Fighters—And There Is Hope

NICU babies are warriors. Every day, they fight battles most of us will never understand. And they win.

Every gram gained, every feeding milestone, every grasp of your finger is a victory. While the NICU road can be uncertain, most preemies grow into healthy, thriving children.

💡 What helped me hold onto hope:

Celebrating every small win.
Looking at success stories of NICU graduates.
Reminding myself that my baby was strong—and so was I.

The NICU is not just a place of struggle; daily miracles happen. Trust the process.